


Altairian Brandy and Other Unhealthy Concoctions

by zquinto



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Gen, Lots of alcohol, pining!Scotty, post STID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 14:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1553402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zquinto/pseuds/zquinto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting drunk biweekly on a specific schedule is certainly not the same thing as being an alcoholic, Scotty says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Altairian Brandy and Other Unhealthy Concoctions

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to apologize for my blatant butchering of the Scottish accent. That is all.

People often wonder where the captain and the chief engineer are from nineteen hundred to twenty one hundred every Friday and Wednesday. The two of them always inform the crewman, who is usually donning raised eyebrows and a questioning expression, that they were getting uselessly trashed in Mr. Scott's quarters.

Scotty finds himself surprised at the progression of his friendship with Jim Kirk. Sure, he's no Spock - Spock had seemed to win Jim over with a single eyebrow raise and snarky comment within seconds after they got over the whole almost-choking-to-death thing - but Scotty thinks of himself as a close friend to Jim.

He's behind Leonard McCoy and Commander Spock on Jim Kirk's best friend list, and probably Nyota Uhura as well, though he finds himself overjoyed at the close relationship he obtains with his captain. Admittedly, he hadn't felt close to any particular crewman in a mighty long time (though he had spent a mighty long time stranded on a motherfucking  _ice_   _planet_ , complete with giant monsters, a green fellow, and some old Vulcan with a tragic backstory and no family). 

Thinking back to it, Jim's death was the marking point of their relationship. It was also the marking point for his relationship with Spock, because that Vulcan had fucking lost his shit and practically  _killed_ the only thing that could save Jim just because of vengeance and pitiful  _emotions._ Despite Spock's extremes, Scotty had still considered himself in debt to his captain, most likely due to the fact that he got him aboard the most beautiful ship in his life (and got him off the aforementioned motherfucking ice planet). 

Scotty sort of hates himself for a) allowing Jim to enter the decontamination chamber, b) not being able to get him out of there, c) watching him die right before their eyes and d) being that easy to knock out, because he was gone with one punch, for God's sakes. Kirk, the captain,  _Jim,_ as Scotty's become accustomed too, informs him that it's not his fault, it's never his fault, there's not a single universe where it  _is_ his fault. Scotty ignores him.

Either way, following the events of John Harrison/Khan/That Fucker with the Nice Eyes, Scotty found himself standing at Jim's bedside (when Commander Spock wasn't occupying that position or Doctor McCoy wasn't muttering faint curses while scanning Jim or Lieutenant Uhura wasn't looking at him sadly or any other crewman wasn't watching over him carefully with that sort of gaze that if they looked away from him, he might just break). Really, Scotty cares for him, no matter how utterly idiotic Jim could be.

After Leonard McCoy finally released the captain and the ship was running smoothly again, Scotty found himself voluntarily spending his free time with Jim Kirk, which was odd. Scotty didn't like getting close to people, didn't like trusting them and putting his secrets into them. He could put on a lying façade, one that was extroverted and mildly insane and humorous, but Montgomery Scott did not trust people easily and did not desire to trust them at any point in his life. The crew of the  _Enterprise_ was different.

Jim Kirk has vivid blue eyes, an unfaltering smirk and a contented swagger to his step that keeps many senior officers biting their tongues so they don't slap him across the face and call him a cocky asshole (namely Doctor McCoy and Lieutenant Uhura, though Scotty has his suspicions that Commander Spock feels similarly behind that stoic Vulcan exterior). Thusly, due to his physical attributes, he has had younger and bolder crewmen approaching him with that awed look on their face and desiring to become his best friend, or possibly a receiver of one of his one night stands. "I don't sleep with my crew," Jim had slurred that first night in Scotty's quarters with a bottle of bright sapphire Altairian Brandy in his hand.

Scotty's not entirely sure how he ended up with a thoroughly intoxicated Jim Kirk in his quarters that day. It had been following a tough mission, they lost a science officer and three security men and women, and Jim likes to beat himself after the death of a fucking  _animal_ on his mission, and he certainly doesn't take the death of four men well. It's probably because Jim has to write up the final reports - the ones that state what happened during the mission, which crewmen were lost, how old they were and their position, and then he has to write a letter or comm the parents and families of those four crew members. 

Jim had asked something about Scotty's strongest drink, because McCoy and Spock had Gamma shift and were busy studying something, and Jim just wanted to forget everything, and he had that dead look in his eyes that said that he didn't want to remember any of that day. So Scotty took that dead-eyed man into his quarters and shoved a bottle of scotch in his direction, which they drank somberly as Jim talked and talked and talked, and Scotty sometimes made a comment with his Scottish accent taking over his voice and his eyes lidding heavily.

They had both passed out at some point, after they shared the scotch and downed the Altairian brandy, too, and were halfway through Scotty's stolen batch of Trakian ale before they collapsed. They had talked about the crew, about their jobs, about the vastness of space and their loves and losses and other things that outrageously inebriated people discuss at three while their voices become scratchy and their eyes can't seem to focus on anything. 

Following that evening, Jim found himself uselessly passed out in Mr. Scott's quarters on multiple other occasions. Scotty invited him to a shot game one evening, and in their drunken stupor, Jim was shouting in his wonderfully enthusiastic and slurring voice that they would have these "meetings", as he phrased them, on the first two days of the week he could recall (which were Wednesday, because it was spelled like Wed-ness-day, and Friday, because Jim was allowed to have hamburgers on Fridays despite McCoy's complaining about his health the rest of the week). It stuck, because Scotty wrote it down in his scrawled handwriting on a PADD that his engineering report was halfway completed, and so Jim came.

Again and again.

Scotty had at first assumed that Jim was just using him for his drinks, but the drinks became more of the catalyst for their late night conversations of vague gossip and curious thoughts. He uses the drinks to get himself and Jim Kirk into the right mood for the evening.

Altairian brandy gets both him and Jim into a mellow and somber mood, while Toffa ale makes them both talk too much until their mouths begin to go off on their own path. Aldebaran whiskey is one of Scotty's favorites, and he can down the whole thing itself because it gets him in an ecstatic and excited mood that can run deep into the night, though Jim usually cringes at it because it's a vivid green and extremely strong. Jim's favorite is Kanar, which takes a quite of bit of getting used to but Jim's apparently already gotten used to it, because he often brings it when he enters Scotty's quarters. It makes the captain's motor functions lessen more than a normal drink, but it keeps a satisfied smile on his face. If Scotty wants Jim to give him some information about something (most often the relationship of Nyota Uhura and the Commander, which seemed to have provided tons of gossip), he serves him a solid glass of Saurian brandy, which they both drink frequently and enjoy heartily. When Scotty's feeling exotic, or Jim's about to go out on one of their rare shore leave and he needs to feel flirty and seductive, the Scot concocts a Samarian Sunset, which gets them both in a handsy mood and Scotty will swear into Jim's ear that he's going to seduce Lieutenant Uhura, despite that she's in a relationship with Commander Spock. No matter, because a glass of Sherry will quiet them down a bit and tire them when they need to get to sleep, and if he hadn't got a Sherry, Scotty would've probably waltzed into Nyota's quarters and demanded that she kiss him, which would most likely end with Montgomery Scott sprawled on her floor with a distinct bloody nose and a ringing pain where she would've kicked him in the dick.

Jim always asks him where he gets the supposedly hundreds of drinks, but Scotty just shakes his head and down the rest of whatever bottle he's holding before sliding it off under his bed. He swears he doesn't steal them, but he can only definitely say that his bottle of scotch wasn't stolen (he always has a bottle of scotch at the ready, in case Ensign Chekov is willing to suggest that vodka is better or he just needs a comforting glass of the classic drink). 

They always do this, and it's wonderful. Scotty loves it, that flow of conversation, that halfway smile his captain flashes him when he's falling over and needs to go back to his quarters. He doesn't care how much his back hurts and how his head is ringing and how much he just wants to go the fuck to sleep again once he's woken up the next day, because spending an evening with Jim Kirk is completely worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> All drink titles are stolen from [here](memory-alpha.org/wiki/Alcohol), though I'm not entirely sure what the effects of all aforementioned drinks are on humans. I'm also not too educated on intoxication, nor how well Jim and Scotty can hold down their drinks. This is assuming they're fairly good at it.


End file.
